Friendship, Not Relationship

It is easy to mistake purely platonic feelings for someone as romantic feelings. Often, for many people, it can be very difficult to distinguish between the two and it can be even more difficult to make the decision to have a simple friendship, rather than a relationship. Starting a romantic relationship with a person should only be done if both parties truly want to be together in that way. If not, a friendship can be a much more productive and enjoyable connection. There are three main reasons that a friendship can be better: convenience, freedom, and comfort.

To begin with, convenience is probably the most important reason to have a friendship, rather than relationship. In many cases, it makes two people happy to use nicknames and to say they love one another, but that does not necessarily mean you want a romantic relationship. It may simply mean you are close friends, almost like siblings or cousins. Being in a friendship does not mean sacrificing those types of things. It does mean however that many things can be much easier. If you want to do something together, it does not have to be a date that is planned out. You do not have to worry with giving gifts to each other for major holidays. You do not have to see each other often. You do not have to talk about your feelings. You do not have to do anything that you do not want to do. It is all about convenience.

Freedom is another very important benefit of having a friendship with a person. If you meet someone you think you might be attracted to, you have the freedom to see if you want to be with them instead. You may feel like there is nobody else you would like to be with now, but that may change if you meet someone else. If that happens, you do not have to go through a break up or worry about losing that person in your life. If you or your friend stat to do something the other person does not like or is offended by, you can talk about it, but the action does not have to stop. If one of you starts to smoke or drink or do drugs, in a friendship, there is not the emotional connection that might make the other person care if the other person is harming themselves. In a relationship, that feeling can become too much and it can cause problems. Friendship gives you the freedom to act how you wish and not worry about ruining a loving relationship.

Finally, there is the issue of comfort between two people. In most relationships, it is expected that the male “make the first move” in actions such as kissing, holding hands, etcetera. For guys who are inexperienced in such matters and have never had a relationship in which those things took place, it can be extremely stressful and uncomfortable knowing when the girl would be comfortable and be expecting him to do things of that type. This takes much of the stress off of both parties. Neither person is expecting those actions, nor do they feel the pressure to make them happen.

While friendships do have all of these positives, relationships of course have just as many, so this should not be taken as a message that relationship should not exist. The purpose of examining this type of human connection is not to raise one type over another, but to show that friendships are a viable option, even for people who have very strong feelings for each other. Being “just friends”, or “friend zoned” has a very negative connotation to it, and it should not. If either person does not feel comfortable entering into a relationship, it is very likely that they are not sure of how they feel about the other person. A friendship is good middle ground. However, this does not mean that a friendship should be seen as a means to an end. It should be seen as an end in itself. If you decide that a friendship is the better option after really getting to know the other person, it is better to not continue focusing on creating a relationship. As has been shown, a friendship has a great many benefits, especially to people who have strong feelings for each other, but are not sure they want a relationship.